Day 9: Worst to Best Days

Today's pic:

You can tell from this pic that the swelling on my left (your right) has gone down more than the swelling on my right (your left).  The uneven swelling made me concerned, but the docs said this was normal and all would be fine when the swelling is 100% gone.  Whew, what a relief!

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I have ordered the days from the day of surgery through the first week in order of worst to best.  After Day: 7 it seems that each day gets slightly better or is at least the same as the day before.

Day: 0 (Surgery Day)

The day of surgery is the worst.  Not the part of the day before the surgery, but the part of the day that comes after you wake up from surgery.  The nurses in the post-op recovery room had a hard time waking me up after surgery, so they had to bring my mom into the room in hopes that she could wake me up.  I am sure the reason why I didn't want to wake up is because of the pain and discomfort and I thought that if i just kept sleeping it would go away.  Eventually, I was forced to wake up because I was told that if I didn't then they wouldn't give me any pain medicine.  Once awake, it all hits you... that you are in pain, you are uncomfortable, you are cold, you are thirsty, you are hungry, you need to use the restroom; however, you can't speak to convey these needs so then you just feel helpless.  Later in my hospital room, every time I sat or stood up from a laying down position, blood gushed from my nose and mouth.  I was soaked in blood.  My 'jaw bra' was soaked in blood, my ice pack was soaked in blood, and my hospital gown was soaked in blood.  All of these items had to be changed multiple times.  A resident came in my room around 11pm to check on me and then was sticking large popsicle stick things into my sore and swollen mouth to check my incisions.  He showed my mom how to clean me up (my external incisions and my bloody nose) and then had me work on taking out and putting in rubber bands.  This is NOT what I wanted to be working on at 11 at night when I am just out of surgery.  It was a rough day and I was definitely questioning myself as to why I would put myself through this.

Day: 4

This day was the second worst day because it was the day I was at the peak of my swelling.  Having the rubber bands in my mouth and the 'jaw bra' on helped somewhat because then my jaw felt supported; however, I did not look forward to meal times as I would have to remove the supports.  My jaw felt weak, heavy, swollen, uncomfortable, and awkward. I preferred to just not eat.  And don't even think about trying to talk to me on this day because I was not going to even try to move my mouth to respond.  

Day: 1

This day was the third worst day because it was the first day I was to try to eat something after the surgery.  When I was first learning to eat in my condition, it was time consuming, messy, and frustrating.  You would think I was an infant again.  Another reason this day was the third worst is because the IVs in both my hands started to become painful.  Today, on Day 9, I still have bruises from the IVs.  The nurse had to take the one out of my left hand early in the day because it was starting to swell and form a knot at the point where the medicines enters my blood stream, which worried her.  I knew I needed to be discharged on Day 1 because I could not and would not be able to have these IVs in for longer than that.

Day: 2

I was back at home and feeling more comfortable, which made it an improvement from Day 1.  Plus, my mom's cooking is waaaay better than the hospital's food.  

Day: 3, 5, 6, & 7 (and on...)

There aren't any huge changes or improvements from day to day, but each day just seems to get slightly better, whether it's due to actually healing or just getting more familiar and comfortable with what I am working with.  Staying positive is my goal every day of this journey.  That's the only way I'll get through it.

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Last puzzle and punch lines. :(  Enjoy!